Monday, October 20, 2014

Letter to my Single Self

In my life some of my very favorite women are still single, God-fearing women waiting on God's very best for them.  They are incredible women of God following so closely after Him that they wouldn't miss a step and I esteem this wholeheartedly.  A few weeks ago I got to stay up late talking with one of them about the pressures they face, the struggles they endure, the questions that seem to dangle unanswered in front of them day after day.  
And it's hard.
And I remember it all so, so well.  The days before I knew that God has an extraordinary Mr. planned for me.  

As Christian wives, mothers, and homemakers today we are so blessed by an immense flood of resources to grow us, strengthen us and convict us.  To lead us where we feel lost and teach us in areas that we have no clue.  We have been richly blessed by those who have gone before us and paved a path for us who follow behind.  (If any of you are looking for some resources like that leave me your email in the comments or email me personally and I would be happy to connect you with some of my personal favorites.)  

There is so much I know now that I wish I would've known then, in what seemed like a holding pattern.  So to my old single life today, I have a few things I'd like to go back and tell myself if I could...

Dear Single Self,

Do you remember that night a few years ago when you were about 17 and had just ended a relationship you thought was everything?  In the shock of what seemed like what would last forever ending abruptly, you cried yourself to sleep for what seemed like the 100th night in a row and you heard God say so vividly to yourself...oh sweet daughter, you have no idea how much better I have planned for you.  

But there's many miles between the promise you heard and the promise you will see.  And that's ok.  There's a difficulty in the waiting, but oh dear girl, there's a beauty as well.  One day you will come face to face with the man that God has been preparing for your heart since the day you were born, the man He called out as the "so much better" He has planned for you.  You will know this from the start and will swiftly and madly fall in love with him because this time, God has His hand all over this.  

That day you will receive one of the very greatest and sweetest gifts God will ever give you and it will serve as a visual reminder of the love He has for you.  But let me let you in on a little secret-right now, right where you are in the middle of the waiting and wondering-you get a gift now too.  

It's not as obvious as your future husband, but that doesn't make it any less sweet.  It is a rare gift of time that you will never, ever get back again-so don't you dare miss it.  Oh the enemy would love that.  He has a way of covering up the "now" season in hopes of the "next" season.  Stop that right now.  The now season is full of His promises and plans and purposes that are good, so good that the enemy does every thing he can to prevent them.  You get the rare opportunity of throwing yourself completely into whatever God has for you to do.  Instead of walking into another co-ed Bible study and letting your eyes scan the room in daydream of which cute boy God might have set aside for you to spend forever with, scan the room for any and every opportunity God has set aside for you to serve, to watch HIM show up and show off.  

God doesn't need your assistance or worry to help you find the right man or speed up the process.  Not at all.  Ultimately all you are doing is skipping your present.  So go on girl.  Live it out for Him.  Go on every mission trip He calls you to.  Love with abandon the life and the people He has put in it.  Share Jesus everywhere all the time.  Know that He has your back and His plan for you is good and right and still perfectly in tact.  Sweet thing, this is a special intimate time for just you and your Maker, so hold nothing back and let nothing get in your way.  

The Mrs.


  1. Just what I wanted to read. Thanks for sharing such a relevant post. May God continue to use you in a mighty way.
    Visiting from - A Victorious Woman of Faith:

  2. Perfect. I've been thinking about doing a similar post recently. I, too, remember so vividly those days of being single. They were hard some days, but it was a blessing! There are things singles can do that we as married women can't. Very well-written and I know it will be an encouragement to others. Popping by from the Modest Mom link up!

  3. I think my comment before this didn't post.
    I just said great post. I know we have both been thinking about enjoying the now instead of being impatient for the future.
    I too have some single friends who are amazing.