About it not being fair...

I took an unintentional step away from the blog last week.  It started out with a very, very sick weekend  .  Then waking up Monday morning and getting the joy of celebrating my favorite man's birthday.  The Mr. was so kind to take care of me so well all weekend and when his birthday morning arrived he requested absolutely nothing, not even his favorite birthday meal.  By the grace of God He gave me the health and strength to get all those things done while he worked all day and we had a wonderful time of celebration all evening.  God was so gracious and so overly good to give us those precious joyful moments. 

After getting through that day I felt God pulling me away for a deeper and more intimate time with Him and I gladly did so.  You see, I'm on the verge of feeling defeated and discouraged-but I'm not going down without a fight.  There are a few things that God has been putting on mine and my husband's hearts yet it seems to elude us right before we take hold of it.
It's left my heart feeling vulnerable.  Tired.  And yes, sad.

If you follow me on Instagram you may have noticed I got a very happy visitor this past weekend.  My best friend from jr high got to spend the long weekend with us, I hadn't seen her since last Christmas as she's a few states away.  I cannot begin to stay how much my heart needed this.  We stayed up and looked through boxes and boxes of old notes we wrote in jr high and high school and ate dinners on the patios and talked and just let the light in.  You know some people can just do that, just let the light in when you're desperate for it.  

The morning she was getting ready to leave we had planned one more shopping trip to an area of town full of vintage shopping and boutiques.  As I got ready I felt the frustation returning slowly.  The fun was about to be over.  She was leaving.  I was going to be left with the things I had tried to ignore all weekend.  As I did my hair in the bathroom mirror alone I started a nice little rant and venting frustration...I started telling the Lord through gobs of tears welling up in my throat...
I'm so frustrated with this...
I can't believe this is still happening...
I'm so tired of dealing with this...
This isn't fair...
I'm the one who has to pay for this...
No child, I'm the One who already paid for all of this, already gave you victory in all of this.  Peace.

Running late and all, I stopped dead in my tracks.  The hair.  The ranting.  Stopped.  Praised the One who absolutely did pay for all of this-the good, the bad, the ugly.  Became the ugly, became the sin-so I could live in His freedom and love and light.  

I'm not sure where you are today or what you're facing this week.  I'm not sure what unfair situation you feel you've been thrown into.  I encourage you though---look up.  Towards the One who paid it so we didn't have to.