So many times I aim to fill this space with the things in life that make me smile, in hopes they will for you as well. Projects, recipes, laughs, encouraging words, scriptures. But today I'm thinking of the ones reading this with a broken heart, and my heart is so tender towards you. Maybe I'm coming out of a season of utter brokenness that God allowed me to journey through for a reason such as this-to shed some light when it feels so dark you can't see your hand in front of your face.
I know. The dark is such a scary place, and it makes everything else seem so scary as well.
Maybe it's because a part of me is still in that broken place deep down. But I feel God moving and shifting my heart and my mind, and I'm ready to share some things He has taught me along the way.
Either way-I'm writing you brokenhearted friend, today to encourage you.
I know the longer the dark season lasts, the longer you feel it was always last. It won't. The longer you carry something the heavier it gets, and that's natural. If I handed you a glass of water to hold for 5 minutes you would probably think nothing of it. But if I walked away and left you holding it for 5 hours, your arm would feel like it's going to fall off.
To you who may be trying to push aside the "mess" and get on with your message-hold up. Wait before Him. Sit at His feet and soak up His healing. Have you ever seen a wounded soldier fight well? He wants to deal in us before He works through us. Sometimes (speaking to myself) we make the biggest messes out of ministry and out of trying to just push it aside and go on with it because we haven't allowed Him to heal, fill, and equip us with what is needed to serve.
Remember that Jesus came to restore all things. All things. Even if we were the ones who lost it to begin with. I know it seems unnatural, too good to be true. In the dark the enemy may even try to convince you that it isn't, but dear one, hold on to what you've known to be true...Him.
Remember Jesus understands and feels your broken heart. He sympathizes with you. When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead in John 11 it says when He saw how distraught Mary was that he responded like this...
"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." (John 11:33)
He was deeply moved and troubled. But ya'll...He knew the end of the story! He knew that He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead right there and then, He knew that Mary's grief was about to be short lived. But Mary didn't know that. Mary was grief stricken and beside herself, so Jesus met her in that pain. Felt it. Experienced it with her. Only Jesus ya'll, only Jesus.
If you are finding yourself brokenhearted over grief-it's a clean wound. Grief is never anyone's fault, its simply the price we pay for loving on people and living in this world. It's a hard price when we grieve, but it's always worth it.
If you are finding yourself brokenhearted over guilt-it's a dirty wound. That's a heavy one to bear because we know it's our own fault. It was because of a dumb choice, a bad decision, a moment of weakness. We've all been there. The good news is we will never find Him in an unforgiving mood, that's not the character of our God. Stop and confess, turn from it, and turn the healing over to Him. He will be faithful to you friend, even if it was your fault. He is ready to wipe the slate clean and cancel the debt.
If you are finding yourself brokenhearted over rejection-it's the deepest wound. Someone has told you, or made you feel like you weren't good enough or you weren't wanted. This kind of pain can feel so lonely and isolated, but if there's anyone who knows rejection it's our Savior. He wasn't only rejected, He was rejected multiple times-and publicly at that. Take it to Him.
If you are finding yourself brokenhearted over some kind of abuse-it's the ugliest wound. After you've sought the help you need, remember that you didn't cause it. The abuser or the enemy or both may try to convince you that it's your fault or that you deserved it. It's a lie.
So brokenhearted friend-I'm praying for you. I'm praying God works and moves in your life like you've never experienced or expected. I'm praying you would allow Him to do some healing in you life. It may require obedience of some tough choices, do the hard thing. Don't wait for your feelings to catch up before you decide. It's the other way around. Feelings always follow choices. Remember that He didn't die on the cross for us to merely survive, it was much too high a price for us to just "get by" on.
As for my own story, Paul says it best...
When I was dead in my sins, God made me alive with Christ. He forgave me of all my sins, He cancelled my debt and everything that stood against me and condemned me. He took it all away, nailing it to that cross. (Colossians 2:13-14, personally paraphrased.)
Linking up with: A Proverbs 31 Wife, Moms the Word, Sweet Sharing Monday, The Modest Mom Blog, Keeping it Simple, The Joy Dare