Monday, January 19, 2015

What's so Great about "Homemaking"?

I will never forget the strange looks and awkward stares when I would try to explain to people that I was a "stay at home housewife" who didn't have any kids yet
Huh?
What do you do all day?

People were screaming "weirdo" with their eyes, and I felt it.

It was a decision the Mr. and I had spent so much time praying over for such a long time. God had blessed me with a good job, high stress, but a good job-how was I going to just walk away from it and simply trust God would help make up that lost income?  And what was I exactly going to do all day?

Even our families thought we were a little nuts for this decision, and one friend in fact had the nerve to call me every Monday afternoon like clockwork simply to ask me 1 question-
Is the laundry done yet?
While others on the outside looking in probably thought I was happy as a lark to have someone else provide financially while I did whatever I wanted, the reality was much different.  I'm a people person at heart who was suddenly spending most of my day alone in an empty house.  I like plans too, suddenly I didn't know what to do in the next 5 minutes, let alone 5 days.  I like pleasing others too much, and everyone except my husband thought I had just made the worst mistake.  There were days I cried wondering if I had too.  

Let me start by saying-I don't believe this is a right decision for every Christian home.  There are many things I believe to be "black and white" in the Word, but I don't believe this is one of them.  I do believe we are to care for our homes (Titus 2:3-5), but I don't believe that requires no outside of the home employment.  I believe that decision has to come from much prayer and Godly insight into what is best for each individual home and family.

For the Mr. and I, this was a decision we had "roughly" reached before we even got married.  God had put a deep desire in my heart to stay at home with our children once we had them (remember, we were still just engaged at this point).  The line of work that God had called my husband to (ministry work) was not going to be a high-paying gig and we both knew it.  There was a part of my heart that worried I would have to give up that dream and it led me on a journey to find out if that was really "my" desire or a desire that God had put there Himself.  I knew it was His, I knew it came from Him, and the Mr. agreed and supported me.  So after much prayer and Godly counsel we reached a decision-I would stay at my job for a few months after we were married, then I would leave.  We would be forced to simply trust God with ALL of it-all of our finances-and we would be forced to learn how to live on just 1 income.  In the meantime, I would learn how to create a loving, nurturing home for our family.  That was the plan.

Months after we got married the question of "when" would pop up, and then go away.  Finally 7 months after we said "I do", we made the decision and cut the strings.  I quit.  I panicked-I cried until I made myself sick-I tried to convince everyone,including myself, it was right-and I quit.  It was a hard season of our new marriage.  We both knew it was right and were steadfast in that, but man were the circumstances rough.  We cut back on everything.  I do mean everything.  Date nights were at home most usually, unless someone had gifted us with a gift card.  We had no cable tv, no internet.  We barely had those rabbit ear antennas to get local news, and even those typically didn't work.  

All the while you wonder in the back of your mind-why would I do this?  Why not make it all easier and just keep working?  Those thoughts kept me up at night staring at the ceiling and blinking back the tears.

But things happen when you take these kinds of risks, and follow God's leading no matter how much it doesn't "make sense" that you just don't expect.  I had to exchange some worldly ease and lay down some "things", but girl-you'll never believe what I picked up instead.

A deeper relationship with my God-when it's sink or swim you suddenly cling a whole lot tighter.
A closer connection with my husband than ever-when it's the 2 of you against the world you've never loved that man more.
A passion for my "new job"-it took time to find my new role, just like it does with any public job, but once I found it I grew in it and even looked forward to it.
A set of new eyes-I suddenly didn't care at all if I couldn't watch HGTV or if my friends thought I was crazy, God showed me what was actually important.  HGTV and the opinions of others just weren't.  
Real friends-while I'm on the subject of it, I lost some friends over this decision.  While it hurts I realize they weren't real friends if they didn't support me in following God's leading.  He gave me new friends who love me and support me no matter what, and eyes to appreciate the old ones who stuck by me.
Deeper appreciation for family & friends-there were lots of things I didn't know how to do around our home.  I had a wonderful army of mothers and grandmother's who had gone before me and were gracious enough to mentor a newbie like me.  
Flexibility-while I took my new "job" as housewife seriously, as long as I got it done I could do it anytime of the day.  So if my husband needed something at work, I was free and happy to run it to him.  If a friend was having a hard day, I was given the opportunity to drop what I was doing and go visit her with a hug, coffee, and a prayer.  When my grandmother's health began to fail and my parents were knee deep in trying to help her, I was able to step in and help them.  I've been blessed to be a blessing to others with my flexibility.  

I won't lie- there are still moments when it feels like the bills are endless and I just want to browse the classifieds to "fix it".  In the stillness of those dark nights where I stare at the ceiling I hear a still small voice remind me-I didn't call you to fix it.  A peace settles in and I know I'm right where I'm meant to be, and I've never been happier.

Linked with:  Mommy Moments, Making your Home Sing, Living Proverbs 31, Modest Monday, Inspiration Monday, Inspire Me Monday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Wake Up Wednesdays, Wow Me Wednesdays, WholeHearted Wednesdays, Creative Spark Link, Hump Day Happenings, Riverton Housewives, Fun Blog Hop

18 comments:

  1. C.S Lewis said “The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career. ”... I think he's right!

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    1. Oh Krista I LOVE that quote! I had never heard it before, thanks so much for sharing it.

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  2. What a beautiful testimony! I recently wrote a post that sounds so very similar in the calling to stay home and leave my high-paying job. It is amazing how clearly the Holy Spirit speaks when we are called to follow and demonstrate obedience. I, too, cried plenty and every now and then am so tempted to get back into it all, but I know that I am where I need to be. The Lord offers a wonderful sense of peace when we seek His will for our lives. Blessings to you as you continue to walk in this journey. :)

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    1. Absolutely, I would be lost and doomed without that peace that passes ALL understanding! Thank you for sharing your heart friend!

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  3. Stephanie, I absolutely LOVE this! What a window into your world and the journey of your life! I am deeply touched by your words and your heart! :-)
    Cathy @ three kids and a fish

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    1. Sweet friend- thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement!!

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  4. Thanks for sharing your testimony. I think you are really brave to share it and embrace your role as homemaker...you know, if this upside down and busy world, where quietness and stillness is a no-no. God will surely bless you obedience, no matter what people think or say :) remain blessed.

    http://angiebenju.blogspot.com/

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    1. Angie, I love how you mentioned the "upside" down of it all, it's hard to go against the flow sometimes but you're right-God is so faithful to bless our obedience. Even when it doesn't make sense!

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  5. I love how you put this and it makes great sense for your family even without children. Drives me crazy that people have to give that judgmental look all the time.

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    1. You're right, that judgmental look is so hard and makes following God so much more difficult sometimes-but that much more worth it too!

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  6. I applaud you! It's hard to be a stay at home wife in this world! I did the same just after I was married and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Yes, you do have to cut back,but it's worth it to keep your home and be happy! Now baby boy #1 just came along and it's even better! I can't imagine the shock I would have had if I'd have waited to be a housewife when the baby came! Too much at once! :) Thank you for sharing your story!

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    1. Danielle, your words so blessed and encouraged me, thank you so much for sharing your journey with this struggle too!

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  7. Oh how I needed this today! I'm in the midst of a situation that I just want to fix and I know God is not calling me to fix it but to trust him. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Rose, I just stopped and said a prayer for you. I don't know what you're situation is but I'm praying God shows you wisdom and clarity in it that you would clearly know what He is calling you to do in it!

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  8. Good for you! I am so thankful to be wife, mother and homemaker and I am confident that this is what God has for me... and I am greatly blessed by it. Things have been tight at times, but actually my job at home does so much to save money.... and then there is all of the wonderful stuff like ministering to my husband, training my children, and more. Thank you for following God in a hard decision.... He will lead and guide you. :)

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    1. Amen! It might be one of the least paying jobs in financial terms, but the rewards are far far greater than any dollar sign could ever bring.

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  9. I am also learning a lesson about trusting God with the timing of my life. I am a planner and I like to be in control, especially when it comes to the deepest desires of my heart. I have been learning God sees those deep desires, and He will fulfill them in His time and His way.

    Thanks for sharing on Hump Day Happenings!

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    1. Megan, God's timing is always perfect but also a hard lesson to learn sometimes we are ready NOW. Thanks for being transparent and sharing.

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