Monday, April 13, 2015

Staying in my Lane

Call it a social media conspiracy and blame the gals posting the perfect morning Instagram shot with their coffee and Bible in the perfect picturesque setting while you're grateful to grab a verse on a 3x5 card while your kiddos are screaming like their heads are dangling.
We see you.  We can't even judge you because we've probably all been there.  (Please ignore my own personal Instagram link to the right for plenty of evidence..)

But let's be honest this is much bigger than any social media could contain right?  In the 50's I'm sure women were comparing pearl sizes right?  So while the world says it's all social media and our generation I call conspiracy.  

This is bigger than that.  
This is deeper than that.
This is an attack.
This is a call to wake up before we pass it up.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

Before the foundation of the world God chose which generation you and I would be a part of.  He also chose what part in that generation we would play, because we will all have a part to play in the body of Christ.  (Anybody seen a body lately with nothing but just a bunch of arms or just a bunch of feet?  Me neither.)  It takes us all.  But at the end of the day it's still my choice.  Based on the fact that God gave us freewill and the ability to choose His path or my own way, I have the potential to make an impact for the Kingdom or to just do whatever I want.  While lots of things can throw me off of that Godly pursuit, there's one specficialy lately that's been plaguing me…
I like to think of it as a silent but deadly poison, like carbon monoxide.  It's not as loud and flashy as say drugs or alcohol or a life of crime, but it has the same potential to destroy us just the same.  

Because when we look at it, I'm not comparing myself to someone/something bad?  These are Godly women, strong leaders, rightful role models.  They are loving their husbands, raising up their children in the Word, teaching Bible studies, shoot they even have the perfect winged liner down.  What's so wrong with comparing myself to them?

God didn't call me to be them.  
He just called me to be me.  To be accountable for what He has called me-and me alone-to do on my own spin around planet Earth.  After all we've got this one shot.  One chance to point to the One who made all the difference for us.  One chance to say-ya'll here I am and on my own I'm nothing but a hot mess…but this JESUS…HE is something, He is everything.
He made all the difference for me.  He set me free.  He made life worth it.  He drew close on the darkest of nights when all I could do through sobs was hold out my hands in offering of all the pain and feebly say-just do something with it-and He did, He's created purpose out of every single pain.  I've never had it all together and never will, so you won't see me pretending to, but sister I can point you to the One who does because it's all I've ever been able to do.  Shake my head and point to Him.  It's all Him.  Don't even waste your time looking at me.

Yet we see the friend with the well behaved kids and think, I'll never get these kids to shut up let alone bring You glory with their life Lord.  We watch our last single friend get married and we fake-laugh through the jokes and questions of when it will be our turn, but inside we're crumbling a bit wondering the same thing?  We hide struggles with infertility and cringe every time another baby shower invitation shows up in the mailbox.  We point to the next gal's husband and wonder to ourselves, why won't my husband love me like hers does?  We watch the perfectly dressed woman walk happily across the church parking lot on Sunday morning and we're over here just hoping we didn't wear the same thing we had on last week, or at least nobody will notice, and wonder when we'll have our junk together and feel like the "normal ones".  

God has been so gracious to open my eyes to this toxic pattern in my life lately.  Every time I find myself looking at someone else's life I feel Him speak over me 
Child stop.  Eyes on me.  I didn't call you to that over there.
You see if I don't stop and fix my eyes on Him, I risk it all.  My purpose. My own calling.  Because I'm too busy looking at someone else's.  But it's just like driving, when I gaze into the next lane I don't drive well in my own.  I swerve.  I don't see the car in front of me and crash.  I'm distracted.  The good works that God has prepared me for are neglected and left undone.  It's a risk much bigger than just to myself or my family, but to the Kingdom.

I don't know what lane He's called you to.  It might be a really dark one, sister I feel you, I've been there.  Keep your eyes fixed on Him, the author and perfecter of your faith and don't look away for a second and pour our your pain and every tear at His feet like the beautiful offering that it is.  It might be a really busy one, that's ok-no to do list is too big for Him to handle, do it with a lot of prayer that you would do it well.  For pete's sake some of the most frustrating nights have been the ones I can look over the day and say Lord I did it all-I got it all done!  But did I do it well?  Did I do it for His glory?  Or was all of that wasted?  Don't waste it sister.  Your lane may be full of little ones and you haven't showered in days, grab the dry shampoo and praise God and just go with it, they'll remember the One you point to a heck of a lot more than if you have on the same outfit for the 3rd day.  Your lane may be lonely and you're wondering when God will bring your own man/family into your life, rest assured, He will or He'll bring you something even better-it's a promise you can take to the spiritual bank and sleep well on-in the meantime God has big plans for your right now so get to it girl.  

No matter what your lane looks like right now, let's get rid of the poison of comparison.  Let's praise God for the right now, for the lane He has us in right now, and let's do it well for goodness sake.  
Just one lane.


  1. Love your perspective and style of writing! Thanks for sharing this. Following on Google!

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by and following Heaven!

  2. Thanks for sharing! So true that comparison is such a deadly poison- I always try to remember that these are just public faces and don't mean all that we think they do since it isn't really authentic. We're all sinners and in need of a savior :) I'm so thankful for grace! That gets me through the "all four of the kids are screaming at the same time, haven't had my shower or coffee, they just flooded the bathroom, and my foster daughter's social worker is supposed to be here in 15 minutes for a home visit" moments... that and humor ;) Great post and glad to find your site today!

    1. I so agree Sara. I once heard someone describe it as-I'm just a beggar showing another beggar where I found food.

  3. Thank you for being so honest and providing great insight into being ourselves. I look forward to staying connected:

  4. I use to have the poison of comparison, but I quit doing it. I thought, our lives aren't what we make them seem on Instagram or Facebook. It's much better, emotionally and spiritually, when I'm not doing it.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts at Inspire Me Mondays!

    1. It is so much better when we get rid of that bitter root of comparison! Thanks for stopping by!