Monday, September 29, 2014

When we wonder if He's still listening...

One time the Mr. and I decided to get a dog.  It was one of the most random decisions of our marriage thus far, especially since we couldn't even have the dog at our house since she was under a year of age and our landlord wouldn't allow that.  So my parents stepped up and graciously allowed her to live with them for the first year, with the understanding she was still ours and we would take her home with us as soon as she was old enough.  However...soon we realized that we just weren't dog-people.  No offense to those who are, but we just aren't. We are more people-people.  

Funny thing though, my parents were in love with her.  So when they approached us with an offer to buy the dog from us and have her forever we gladly accepted.  

Ya'll...life has never been the same.  They are crazy about that dog.  She's a tad on the spoiled side, seeing as anytime she makes but a peep or a whine they either one or both go running.  It's the funniest thing.  Now that she's been there awhile though, they are slower to respond.  (Gratefully) They no longer speed to her aid and have even started letting her "soothe herself" for a bit.  It's a process, you know.  When they began leaving her be she would whine for what seemed like forever, but now she notices that it's quiet and everyone must be gone so she might as well stop wasting her energy on whining and barking if nobody is there to hear her or going to do anything about it.

And as silly as this sounds, that hit me like a freight train.

There are things we've prayed about for years, and we don't see anything happen, so we stop praying about it.  Maybe He doesn't hear us.  Maybe He just won't do it.  If He isn't going to "come running" for this one, I might as well stop wasting my breath.  They seem to be those kinds of requests that are huge, and in a way life seems to hinge upon them.  Life seems to wait upon them, yet sadly, time does not.  So we enter a "waiting room" of sorts and we pray and we wait and pray and wait and pray and wait until we feel like our prayers must be hitting the ceiling.  We try to find any reason for why God may not be responding to our cry like we expect.  We analyze, obsesses and worry.  We sob uncontrollably.  We remember how much time is passing us by and panic at the thought.  
Maybe it's a healing-physical or emotional.
Maybe it's a new mind.
Maybe it's a do-over.
A relationship needing restoration.
A situation in desperate need of redemption.
And until that "one thing" is done, life seems stuck.  On hold.  As the days, months, even years go by in that holding pattern the "waiting room" feels smaller and smaller.  
God, where are You?  When are you going to do something?  Ever?

I've been in that waiting room for 8 years over something.  That one will make you wrestle with your thoughts, doubts, and even faith.  May I be painfully real for a moment?  In my darkest moments, the longest nights, the days that feel like they will never get better I've struggled over so many thoughts...
If God hears me, why hasn't anything happened?
God is only good, so why am I still stuck?
I believe He can do anything, so why won't He? 
Anyone else??  

Lately though, He has been dealing with me on that issue alone.  Not the thing I've been in the waiting room for, but the doubts, wrestling, and thoughts that haver resulted from it.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us....(Ephesians 3:20)


When God first started leading me to this verse I found myself saying-yes, yes!  I will take some immeasurably more in my life!  But then He began to reveal to me the bigger picture...what if in certain situations, specifically the ones that put us right smack dab in the middle of that dreaded waiting room, we find that He is desiring something much much more.  The stuff I've been praying about, the way I've been seeking the solution, what if His immeasurable more is way way beyond that.  The answer I've been seeking is something that I've obviously already asked or imagined...and He's calling me to MORE.  More than I've been able to ever dream up or ask for, that's the offer on the table.  

He has opened my eyes to the possibility of immeasurably more.  Yes, He can absolutely do what I've requested of Him-but He could do so much more than that.  He is doing so much more than that.  I believe He has not left me in that waiting room in vain, He has held me, carried me, dried my tears in that waiting room.  Psalm 56:8 in the New Living Translation says, 
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your 
book. 

The waiting room is tiny, you see, and there's mostly only room for 2.  So it's just Him and I, waiting on Him to do the immeasurably more.  On the way to that, even through the darkness and wrestling, I have learned more of His character, taken a deeper look at His love-His perfect, infallible love, breathed in His promises to keep me going.  The waiting room has nothing easy about it, but it does have a beauty beyond compare, and I'm starting to truly believe....He will do exactly what I've requested in His perfect timing, or something better.  

Linking up with:  Mommy  Moments, Making My Home Sing, Modest Monday, Titus 2 Tuesday, WholeHearted Wednesday, The Homemaking Party, Riverton Housewives, What you Wish Wednesday

10 comments:

  1. Beautiful post. It's hard to wait on God's timing and His answers are usually something we could have never predicted. My parent's have a dog that they dote on, too! :) #mommymoments

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    1. Something we've never predicted is so true! So grateful His thoughts are so much higher than our own. (Isaiah 55:8). Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

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  2. This is beautiful, Stephanie.
    I love where you said that this waiting room is small and only 2 can be there, yourself and Christ.
    I sometimes feel like I'm continually waiting for the next part of my life, but I know that that will make the present less enjoyable. I often have to remind myself of the great things in the now.
    One great thing that is happening for me is getting to spend time with my grandparents and keeping in touch with them. I'm in my 20s and I realize what a great gift it is that every one of my grandparents are still alive and fun. However, my grandpa has been battling cancer for years now. As I know he may not have much time left, I am more grateful for the present. I have things I want to happen in my life and look forward to, but I know that as I wait for them, I get to do some really great things in my life right now.
    I know that the Lord knows us and loves us and hears us, even when we have to wait because what is happening now might be important.

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    1. Julie, I so understand what you're saying!! For me it seems once we get to that other side of what we've been waiting for I seem to be surprised that hey-there are still problems and issues in this season of life too! I'm so grateful for you that you get to enjoy your grandparents, mine died when I was very young so I envy you!!!! I'm praying for contentment and joy in THIS season for you sweet friend.

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  3. This is a wonderful post! I know what it's like to be in the "waiting room." I have learned to start absorbing the lessons during this waiting period instead of trying to rush through it at lightening speed. It's a time for self-discovery and God-discovery. It's hard to yield to God's timing, but I know He has my best interest in mind and in heart!

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    1. Amen Laura! I'm the worst at waiting. But if I speed through it, I'll miss it all-all the growth, intimacy and purpose that He does have even there in that waiting room that I'm so desperate to move on from. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  4. I agree with Julie that this is a beautiful post and my favorite part was that the waiting room is small and there is only room for 2. I wrote about this idea of wrestling with God and how it grows us. It is never fun while in the midst of it, but we are always better for it in the end. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. 8 years is a long time, but know that He is doing something!

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    1. Heather, He is absolutely doing something that I believe is far greater than my mind can conceive!

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  5. What an encouraging post this morning I can really relate to being in the "Waiting room"!
    Thanks for linking up with WYWW:)

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