So imagine my surprise when recently I felt God leading me to make a big change and take a big step that I felt was as out of my league as dodgeball. I listed off all the reasons I was completely inadequate for this step, and hoped for a "pat on the back" and wink that assured me we could skip this plan and find a new one that I was better prepared for.
But that wasn't what I got at all. Quite the opposite actually.
Instead what I felt was more of a Holy approval that felt like Him saying…good, exactly what I wanted so that this can be full of ME and My power and strength and not yours.
So there was that. A lesson in reality that God really doesn't need my "adequacy", just my obedient surrender instead.
I really, really wish I could say it was that easy and that with that affirmation it was a done deal. But unfortunately I wrestled with it for quite awhile first. Eventually I found myself in a heap of tears and humbly repenting of my disobedience and surrendering it all.
But I still wasn't sure of the how this was going to all happen. One night I sat down next the Mr. and said ok I don't know how any of this is going to happen, but this is what God has laid on my heart so just pray I know how to do it and that He somehow makes a way to do it. He lovingly welcomed me in open arms, prayed with me, and called it a night. We didn't really talk much about it all after that night. But those thoughts and prayers were still around. One day though, I opened up my laptop and an envelope fell out. When I opened it my eyes instantly recognized my man's handwriting and my eyes were already tearing up before I read a single word. After reading through all of the loving words that man wrote about me and his love for me, it was finished with a plan to accomplish what I spoke to him that one night.
I wept like a baby.
What's next? Well only God surely knows. But I do know that in a few weeks when you come visit me here, things will look a lot different. I can't wait to reveal it all to you and invite you to join in on the exciting new things God has in store. Please be praying for the details to all wrap up exactly as God would have them, and that He would be glorified in all of it.