It seems I always have the television on in the background when I'm home during the day while the Mr. is at work. Half the time I don't even know what is on or what they're talking about, I just like the noise. Today I caught a bit of a certain program, where a woman was asking advice about her current dating relationship. She explained how incredible boyfriend is, how sweet and loving and all around wonderful...until a holiday or birthday rolls around...then in the gift department he kind of falls apart and gets her something terrible. Her question was, was this problem a deal breaker? Should she stay with her wonderful-but-terrible-gifter boyfriend?
I think I actually said out loud...you're joking right?
I am blessed by my sweet husband in so many ways. He is very sensitive, funny, caring, Godly, and selfless. But when it comes to gift-giving, he doesn't exactly excel. Now don't get me wrong, he has improved greatly over the years. In fact this year for Christmas he totally outdid himself and really impressed me (except for the fact that some shipping dates got off and I was still getting presents in mid January). But let's just say...we've come a long way.
A few months ago the Mr was telling me about his day as he helped me unload the dishwasher. As he removed a certain coffee mug he looked at me in disgust and said...um babe where'd you get this hideous mug. I looked at him dumbfounded a little nervous to answer...um you? He looked mortified and asked well what did I get to go with it (thinking that must have been stellar and totally gift-saving potential). I hesitantly replied, well there was candy in the mug?? I could tell he wanted to evaporate into thin air as he realized that was literally all he had gotten me for that Valentine's Day. Then we just laughed hysterically over it. But want to know what I took from it?
I thought he was the most wonderful man in the entire world. I didn't see the gift as the stupid looking Valentines mug with candy that had already expired in it (I couldn't make this up if I tried ya'll). What I did see was that my life was crashing down around me at the moment. My aunt, who was my 2nd mother, was dying a terrible death from cancer. And that man with the silly mug had been holding me together for the past 6 months of my living nightmare. He stayed awake with me round the clock when I couldn't sleep, and then would go to school and work all day, and then come back and do it all again. He never said a word about how exhausted I knew he must be. The only time he ever left my side for anytime at all was when he had to for his commitments, other than that he never took a break-never even spent 30 mins on himself to see a friend or go to dinner with the guys. It was work or taking care of me 24/7. And he never complained one time. When my aunt would think of something she would even try to eat he would make numerous grocery runs, even in the middle of the night. He got that taking care of my family during this crisis was the same thing as taking care of me-and he was a pro at it. When he would make these grocery runs he would often come back with something for her as well, a magazine, a book, anything "extra" to make her smile, and I never told him to or what she might like. That was all him. We would try to plan a date night for us to get away from all of it for an hour or two and it never failed my aunt would have had a rough day or she would be doing exceptionally well and I wouldn't want to leave her and he never hesitated, just came with a movie he knew she would like too and would make a night of take out and a movie-me, him, and my aunt.
By the time Valentine's Day rolled around that year we had planned a simple night at his house, him cooking me dinner and keeping the phone out in case I needed to get back to my aunt who had taken a terrible turn. When I arrived that night I was so anxious, worrying about her. Little to my surprise he had decorated the whole house for Valentines Day, had arranged with my mom earlier in the day to give him some of my "comfiest clothes" as well as grabbing my favorite DVD season of the girly-est show ever. After our dinner he told me to go into the bathroom for a surprise, and there was the stack of clothes that I changed into with tears in my eyes for the way he thought of everything to make sure I just relax that night. When I came back into the living room he was waiting for me on the couch with blankets, a marathon of Gilmore Girls waiting, and a cake with 2 forks-and yes "the present"....that mug of old candy.
So I'm no relationship expert, never claimed to be. I don't know everything and I certainly can't judge for every situation or relationship. But to me, if you've been blessed with an amazing man and have to "suffer" through a less than wonderful present every now and then, wouldn't you rather it be that then a terrible husband who can really come through on certain holidays and birthdays?
And between you and I, I love that stupid ugly mug.
Linking up with: We are That Family, Above Rubies