Wednesday, February 12, 2014

The Ugly Mug Valentines Day

It seems I always have the television on in the background when I'm home during the day while the Mr. is at work. Half the time I don't even know what is on or what they're talking about, I just like the noise. Today I caught a bit of a certain program, where a woman was asking advice about her current dating relationship. She explained how incredible boyfriend is, how sweet and loving and all around wonderful...until a holiday or birthday rolls around...then in the gift department he kind of falls apart and gets her something terrible. Her question was, was this problem a deal breaker? Should she stay with her wonderful-but-terrible-gifter boyfriend?

I think I actually said out loud...you're joking right?

I am blessed by my sweet husband in so many ways. He is very sensitive, funny, caring, Godly, and selfless. But when it comes to gift-giving, he doesn't exactly excel. Now don't get me wrong, he has improved greatly over the years. In fact this year for Christmas he totally outdid himself and really impressed me (except for the fact that some shipping dates got off and I was still getting presents in mid January). But let's just say...we've come a long way.

A few months ago the Mr was telling me about his day as he helped me unload the dishwasher. As he removed a certain coffee mug he looked at me in disgust and said...um babe where'd you get this hideous mug. I looked at him dumbfounded a little nervous to answer...um you? He looked mortified and asked well what did I get to go with it (thinking that must have been stellar and totally gift-saving potential). I hesitantly replied, well there was candy in the mug?? I could tell he wanted to evaporate into thin air as he realized that was literally all he had gotten me for that Valentine's Day. Then we just laughed hysterically over it. But want to know what I took from it?

I thought he was the most wonderful man in the entire world. I didn't see the gift as the stupid looking Valentines mug with candy that had already expired in it (I couldn't make this up if I tried ya'll). What I did see was that my life was crashing down around me at the moment. My aunt, who was my 2nd mother, was dying a terrible death from cancer. And that man with the silly mug had been holding me together for the past 6 months of my living nightmare. He stayed awake with me round the clock when I couldn't sleep, and then would go to school and work all day, and then come back and do it all again. He never said a word about how exhausted I knew he must be. The only time he ever left my side for anytime at all was when he had to for his commitments, other than that he never took a break-never even spent 30 mins on himself to see a friend or go to dinner with the guys. It was work or taking care of me 24/7. And he never complained one time. When my aunt would think of something she would even try to eat he would make numerous grocery runs, even in the middle of the night. He got that taking care of my family during this crisis was the same thing as taking care of me-and he was a pro at it. When he would make these grocery runs he would often come back with something for her as well, a magazine, a book, anything "extra" to make her smile, and I never told him to or what she might like. That was all him. We would try to plan a date night for us to get away from all of it for an hour or two and it never failed my aunt would have had a rough day or she would be doing exceptionally well and I wouldn't want to leave her and he never hesitated, just came with a movie he knew she would like too and would make a night of take out and a movie-me, him, and my aunt.

By the time Valentine's Day rolled around that year we had planned a simple night at his house, him cooking me dinner and keeping the phone out in case I needed to get back to my aunt who had taken a terrible turn. When I arrived that night I was so anxious, worrying about her. Little to my surprise he had decorated the whole house for Valentines Day, had arranged with my mom earlier in the day to give him some of my "comfiest clothes" as well as grabbing my favorite DVD season of the girly-est show ever. After our dinner he told me to go into the bathroom for a surprise, and there was the stack of clothes that I changed into with tears in my eyes for the way he thought of everything to make sure I just relax that night. When I came back into the living room he was waiting for me on the couch with blankets, a marathon of Gilmore Girls waiting, and a cake with 2 forks-and yes "the present"....that mug of old candy.

So I'm no relationship expert, never claimed to be. I don't know everything and I certainly can't judge for every situation or relationship. But to me, if you've been blessed with an amazing man and have to "suffer" through a less than wonderful present every now and then, wouldn't you rather it be that then a terrible husband who can really come through on certain holidays and birthdays?

And between you and I, I love that stupid ugly mug.


Linking up with: We are That Family, Above Rubies

17 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh! I love this story and I think I love this mug too! You are the perfect example of appreciating what you have and counting your blessings.

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  2. Seriously I am crying! What a wonderful post. You get it girl, take it from a woman married over 25 years! And I bet it's the best mug in the house too! Stopping by from #SITSblogging and glad I did!
    Sandra
    The Adored Home

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  3. I would treasure that ugly mug! I don't understand people these days, so caught up in the what have you bought me lately, instead of focusing on the special characteristics of their loved one. Shaunna @Tempting Thyme #SITS

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  4. great blog! so glad i found you. #SITSBlogging

    www.modernsuburbanites.blogspot.com

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  5. What a fabulous post - I would cherish the mug and all it represents too. It sounds like you got one of the good ones :) Rhondda #SITSBlogging

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  6. I was seriously crying over the sweetness of this! You already know this but what a wonderful husband you have!

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  7. This is a great reminder that gifts are necessarily material things. Hang on to that mug!

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  8. I am in tears as I read your beautiful story. So sweet and thoughtful. I love how you put into perspective the fact that despite the ugly mug, this man went above and beyond any expensive or thoughtful gift. He did something for you that was beyond self less. You are a very lucky woman and I hope your husband and you have many more years of happiness.

    #SITSblogging

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  9. My husband wrapped a box of Borax for me once, for Christmas. We were having well water challenges, lol, but like you said, I'd rather get a what?!? gift from a good man, than the reverse. :)

    #SITSBlogging

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  10. Such a sweet post. You are a lucky lady :-)

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  12. Awwww, great love story! Happy Valentine's Day! #SITSBlogging

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  13. He knows what you need. That is the most important gift of all. Just think if he'd given you flowers they would be long gone as well as the memory of the day.

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  14. I'm reminded of the poem footprints as I read your words. These are the memories we'll look back on as time elapses. What a blessing it is to hear that you realize the preciousness of the one walking beside you and he cherishes you just the same! :)

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  15. I totally believe acts of service is very much a present and the way your husband gives! I think sometimes women forget to be thankful for things even if it's not their ideal! So sad some women don't understand! Lucky for your husband you do!

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  16. Love this post. Sounds like a very wonderful husband and I wouldn't trade that for all the fancy gifts in the world. I hope you two have a nice, enjoyable Valentine's Day tomorrow and many more to come!

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  17. awe such a beautiful story! He sounds like a great husband. A great reminder that it's always the thought that counts most. Happy Valentine's Day to you both. #SITSBlogging

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