Lately God has been working on my heart with relationships in my life. I've been trying to pay more attention to the way I act when difficult circumstances arise, the words I speak AND how I speak them over those closest to me, the length (or lack thereof) of my fuse when I'm stressed or exhausted. It's a difficult situation. These are the people in my "corner", who know my the best and accept me at my worst. I have a husband who is a Godly man, who loves me well and treats me with such honor and kindness.
I have a mother who I have an uncommon bond with. She is a mix between my best friend and hero and the hours (that probably added up to years) that she has spent on her knees over my life have shaped me into the woman I am today. Forever grateful.
I have a group of best girl friends that I have done life with since we were 12 years old. They have stood beside me through the darkest days of my life, and they each took their place beside me on my wedding day as the best bridesmaids a girl could have. I know what a gift that is, to have friendships that contain memories that range from sleepovers where we laughed and prank called the boys we had crushes on, to going through teenage heartbreak, thinking we were going to just die when we all went off to college, and now getting to still doing life together living just few miles apart.
While these people are some of the greatest blessings in my life I worry that because they allow me to be so "myself" all the time, I let my guard down too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting a life of "fake-ness", but we also have to remember that our initial responses can often be of our fleshly desires and feelings. When I've had a bad day I know that I can be real with these people and gripe and complain and even sometimes treat them badly or snap at them unintentionally.
But I just really don't want to.
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. -Proverbs 17:9
A few mornings ago I read that verse on the back porch and it stopped me in my tracks. Instantly God reminded me of this area that He has been working with me on.
The word foster means to: "encourage or promote the development of (something, typically something regarded as good)".
Let me tell you-in a world of hate, of confusion, of evil, of brokenness, of strife and abuse if there's anything I want to "encourage or promote" it's love. Even if it means letting something go that really bothered or hurt me.
This is something that is easier with people you don't know as well, or just aren't as close with. But it's the people in your corner, where it becomes really difficult with, because we're more transparent with them. Praying we rise up and let God work through us and in us to foster the love He put there in us to begin with.
Linking up with: Retha